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Greatest Achievement Ever!

This is Candace Parker who made world history by dunking not once...BUT TWICE IN A SINGLE BASKETBALL GAME! HOLY SHIT! Move over Susan B. Anthony, Candace Parker has taken your place as the most influential woman of all time.

Sportscenter should have showed more of her dunking!! How dare they only show it 94 times! How dare they pretend that it wasn't the greatest athletic achievement in the history of mankind! She is 6' 3", has long arms, and has been playing basketball all of her life so OF COURSE her ability to dunk is the most amazing feat I have ever witnessed! I mean, did you see when she dunked at the McDonald's High School All American dunk contest?! Weren't those the greatest dunks ever?!?! Like when she just jumped up and dunked it? That was great! And when she pretended to cover her eyes? SOOOOO COOL!!!

I mean once would have been cool, but TWICE?! Get right outta town! I mean the picture clearly shows how forceful her dunk was! And they didn't even show a picture of the other one! What the hell, ESPN?! Are you trying to downplay this dinosauric event because she happens to be a woman?! So what if women's basketball isn't as entertaining or high scoring? So what if there have only been 5 teams to ever win a women's basketball championship, parity doesn't matter, right? So what if women's basketball is boring and has less talented players? So what if most people would rather gouge out their eyes with a broken rusty lightbulb than watch a women's basketball game? ESPN should do a biography on Candace Parker right now!! She should run for president! We should name America after her!

FUCK YOU NEIL ARMSTRONG! YOU HAVEN'T ANYTHING TO BE PROUD OF! NOT LIKE CANDACE PARKER WHO DUNKED TWICE IN A SINGLE BASKETBALL GAME!

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