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Johnnie Cochran is rolling in his grave

You know that if Johnnie was still alive The Juice would not be writing a book explaining to everyone how he would have killed Ron and Nicole.

Yes, it's true. If I Did It is a "fiction" book OJ is being paid to write about how he would have killed his ex-wife and her friend Ron Goldman. (A little more carefully I'm guessing.)

I was fortunate enough to obtain a copy of this controversial book before it hits the shelves later this month. If you promise not to tell anyone, I'll share with you some of the passages.

"Man, I can't believe how irresponsible I was, how could I have done such a thing? Not the murders mind you, that was totally cool. What I can't figure out is why I made such a mess. I'm obviously not very good at killing people. I just...I was in the zone, ya know? Haha, I still can't believe how many times I stabbed those two. (Content, reminiscent sigh)"

Oh, that OJ. What a character he is.

"Hey, remember how the police totally mishandled my crime scene? Haha, probably one of the reasons I got off scot free. Oh, and remember that Mark Fuhrman guy? Haha, thank goodness for racists, right? Seriously though, I wanted to kill him too, but I figured I was in enough heat at the moment. I might do that next week. I mean...I might "hypothetically" do that next week. ;)"

Smooth, OJ. I think the winky face is a nice touch. I don't know why he didn't just edit that "I might do that next week" sentence. Seriously, don't draw any more attention to yourself.

"How lame was my alibi, huh? What'd I say I was doing? Haha, I honestly don't even remember. I think I said I was sleeping or something. Maybe I said I was playing golf. Haha, who cares right?! I'm free, baby! I can play all the golf I want! Woo hoo! Remember how I said I'd spent the rest of my life searching for the real killer? Well, I found him...in the mirror!! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

Come on, OJ. That was classless. Quit gloating.

"It's not bad that it's been 11 years and I haven't shown even a single hint of remorse, is it? Cause sometimes I think, 'Man, that's pretty screwed up that I don't even care.' But after that I usually just get really drunk and run around the neighborhood looking for women who look like Nicole and then I apologize to them. They get confused then I get upset, call them a bitch, and hit them. It's a whole thing."

Why hasn't anybody reported this?

I think that's all I can legally share with you, but the book comes out in a few short weeks and there is also a TV interview he's doing with Fox. Psh, figures.

I really don't think the book will be all that interesting, so don't kill yourself waiting for it. Watch out for OJ though!! Zing!

i'm sad it all got cancelled.

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