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W203 Fourth Assignment

Let me first say how happy I am that IU beat Wisconsin. That was possibly the greatest sports night of my life. I've experienced an atmosphere like that very few times and it never gets old.

Okay, on to the assignment. This week I was supposed to write a short-short, which in literary terms is basically just a very short story and is generally written in some obscure fashion. Unfortunately, last night I was suffering from the worst case of writer's block I've ever had. I couldn't find inspiration in anything. Among many other things, I considered writing about these...
  • I looked at my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jacket and thought, "What if I write about how if not exposed to the liquid mutagen and not taught martial arts they'd just be regular adolescent turtles."
  • Although I mention it in my story, I actually considered writing an entire story using puns. The story centered around a horse who only asked questions and a bear who only responded in puns. I was going to call it, "The Worst Thing I've Ever Written in my Life."
  • I almost wrote a story entitled "Bad Decision" where a snowman went to the beach. However, instead of him melting, a crab would have pinched his carrot nose as he lie tanning. This was stupid, illogical, and difficult to set up. I only decided against it only b/c of the difficulty in crafting the story. I don't care about stupidity or logicality.
  • I actually wrote part of a story that centered around 2 unicorns aboard Noah's Ark. At first you just think they are two people on a cruise, but when the other passengers kill them, Noah makes it clear that no one is to talk about the unicorns' death. I found it hard to establish the relationship of the unicorns and eventually decided against this too.
By now it's at least 5:30 in the morning and I would have been pissed off if I weren't so damn tired. I eventually threw together this piece of garbage and got to bed at a time I will not disclose. During class, my peer reviewers told me they both really liked it; I politely disagreed with them. Try your best not to hate it.

As your eyelids grow heavy and your fingers go numb you pray to God that it’ll be over soon. You’ve ran the gauntlet of human emotions, but you’ve settled on frustration. Anger was fun. Not as fun as indifference though. You blacked out after hopelessness set in and woke up only to find everything hilarious. Help is nowhere to be found and you finally understand that you’re all alone. You’ve sought your past for inspiration and it mocked you. You’ve done it so many times before and yet you can’t figure out why in the hell it’s so difficult now. Everything you do and everything you touch feels foreign. If not for its permanence, death would be a fine way out. You wonder where your creativity went and if you’re still as smart as you used to be. You realize you’re not when you’ve lost all your motor skills and the ability to read. Sadness rears its ugly head when you remember that there is a tomorrow and it’s not going to be nice to you. Tears follow. You grow weary but get knocked back into consciousness when your head hits hickory. You’ve shot down every idea. Nothing you’ve done is good enough. You’re a failure. The clock laughs at you and the emptiness taunts you, but you can’t fight back. All you can hope for is that you are still coherent enough to piece together real words. You actually considered writing a story using only puns. What an awful person you are. Now you’re literally talking to yourself. Stop it. You think you’ve just documented your writer’s block when in reality you have no idea if any of what you’ve written makes a lick of sense. You started out wanting to write something insightful and poignant, but you know you haven’t. You remain hollow even after you’ve somehow managed to fill the page.

ugh! oh my gosh! that was so awful! i'm throwing up all over my computer! yuck! i'm so disgusted! terrible!


hahaha, I KNOW!!

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