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D is for Disorder

The NBA is back in Fort Wayne! Sort of!

I was one of the lucky dozens to witness the season opener for one of the newest NBDL (also called the D-League by those who want to make it seem cooler than it actually is) teams, the Fort Wayne Mad Ants. It wasn't the prettiest basketball I've ever seen to say the least, but it was fun to see "Hot Rod" Wilmont and Earl "The Pearl" Calloway a.k.a. The Mustache playing basketball again. The mascot is scary, the announcer is dreadful, the coach is almost nonexistent, and the cheerleaders... Well, I don't really know what to think of them.

Honestly, I have no clue. I mean, I guess they were pretty sexy, but to quote Dave Chappelle, "not in that classical way." I don't mean to sound insulting here, but I think they were the sluttiest cheerleading group I have ever seen. Maybe it was just this one girl in particular, whose name I will omit, but can be very easily found if you are so inclined. However, after the game, I was online trying to figure out how the NBDL rosters are structured when I stumbled upon the "Madame Ants" website (hyperlinked above) and found the strangest thing. The aforementioned girl, let's call her "Carly," cannot smile. It's true. I think she wants to smile, but is not able to. I am now wondering if this is some kind of disease I don't know about and if this is the case, I'd appreciate it very much if someone could educate me so I can stop laughing at her pictures.