« Home | Police terrorism » | Cometh quietly or there shalt be...trouble...eth. » | Jokes and jokes and jokes and... » | Rom-coms get me every time » | Mr. and Mr. Parker » | Best Report ever? » | Elitist, secret Muslims » | Doing it the reich way » | R100: Intro to Terrible Ideas » | Peanut butter »

Helter Skelter

Hello everyone, I'm Dana Jacobson and welcome to First Take's 1st and 10. The first question goes to our audience, "Are you ready for a RACE WAR?!?!" Oww! Hell yeah!

Who's gonna be next in line to battle our supreme overlord, Skip "The Turner Diaries" Bayless?! Which young, generic black man or woman is ESPN fixin' to lay on the dinner plate of doom, only to be devoured by the mighty jaws of the greatest human being alive?!

Is it you Marcellus Wiley? Are you Dat Dude?!
Could it be you Donovan F. McNabb? You won't be able run from this battle!
How about you Ryan and Doug Stewart? How'd you like to be 2 DEAD Stews?!
You want a shot Jeffri Chadiha? Or you Greg Anthony? Or you Jemele Hill?
What about you Scoop Jackson? LZ Granderson? Lorenzo Neal? Shaun King?

The fact is it doesn't matter what you say because Skip Bayless is always right! ALWAYS! Can you inferior races still not comprehend the cold, hard science of Samuel G. Morton's skull and candy bean experiments?!

Skip is and shall forever remain our God! GOD, I say! Jesus? Don't get me started on that guy again! Let's get in on!