« Home | Horrifying » | Things that bother me as an intelligent human bein... » | Things that bother me as an intelligent human bein... » | Helter Skelter » | Police terrorism » | Cometh quietly or there shalt be...trouble...eth. » | Jokes and jokes and jokes and... » | Rom-coms get me every time » | Mr. and Mr. Parker » | Best Report ever? »

TV sucks

(Note: I didn't make this picture. Something this lame can only be found on the Interwebs.)

I think my voice-over career is over before it even got a chance to spread its wings and soar off of the mighty, mighty pedestal I sit on. Why can't I find a job criticizing awful television shows? I'd be so good at it! First up?

House of Payne
"If you thought The Cosby Show was funny, then you're really gonna hate this! All new episodes of House of Payne, tonight on TBS!"

"Join us Wednesday night for an all new episode of House of Payne! Because we here at TBS can't get enough of tired, racial stereotypes!"

"Catch all new episodes of House of Payne, created by Tyler Perry, tonight on TBS! It's just like his movies, only the fat lady isn't a man in drag!"

"House of Payne, tonight at 9 on TBS! If you can't catch the whole episode, just watch the last 5 minutes to learn a life lesson you already knew!"

"Only 1.1 stars? Even IMDB hates House of Payne! And they gave Birth of a Nation 7 stars!"

"House of Payne! You'll wonder why you're not watching something else!"

"Tonight at 9/8 central on TBS, Tyler Perry presents House of Payne. It's just like The Cosby Show, except a big fat guy ate up all the funny!"

"Hey gang, if you're not doing anything Wednesday night, check out House of Payne, the highest rated cable sitcom in history! And no, I'm not sure why I'm even allowed to say that on television!"