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Olympics Update II

Day 1 of official Olympic action is over and the USA is in the lead! As if there was any doubt! I don't like that we have four bronze medals, however. Do better America.

#1:
Michael Phelps won his first gold medal in the 400m IM and broke his own world record! He celebrated by hugging his family, high-fiving his friends, and peeing on a nearby homeless man. What can you say, the guy loves everything gold. (Thanks, Tynan!) Another swimming update, Dara Torres, at 41 years of age, helped the US team nab a silver in the women's 4x100m freestyle relay. Way to go, Nana Torres! Give that dirty bronze to the Aussies!

#2:The US sweeps in women's individual sabre, proving once again that fencing is sooooo awesome to watch! I could do without the screaming though. I've done some sabre, but I'm really waiting for the foil bouts. It will remind me of how great I was as a fencer.

#3:
My condolences to US men's volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon and his family after a crazed Chinese citizen attacked McCutcheon's wife's parents. My angry fist-shaking at any news outlet (you know who you are!) who covered the story as an "Olympics attack." It was not an Olympics attack, but an attack at the Olympics. They are different things. Both saddening, but completely different.

#4:Big beach volleyball upset as Shrek and Mr. Nearly Nonexistent (Dalhausser and Rogers) played like (volley)balls and were outshone by some young Latvian upstarts. Another beach volleyball upset on the women's side with megastars Misty May and Kerri Walsh. Mostly me being upset that their bikinis stayed on. And in the erotic, yet very disturbing picture above, President Bush showing once again that he is the only US president to attend a beach volleyball game...EVER! A clear sign of progression from the days of President Taft. Taft hated beach volleyball!

I have to get to bed, USA basketball is coming on in 7 hours!

USA! USA! USA!