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Olympics Update IV

Hey, US men's gymnastics team, I don't care how many people on your team got hurt, you do not brag about a bronze medal. Ever. I hope you drown in that river!

#1:
The US is closing the medal gap! We almost have as many bronze medals as China has golds! Whoo! Actually, in the overall medal count, we are on the positive side of the gap with 20 medals to China's 16. Korea is in third with 10 medals, but they're doing it the right way. No bronze medals. Way to go, Korea!

#2:
Aaron Peirsol won a gold medal in the men's 100m backstroke.
Natalie Coughlin won a gold medal in the women's 100m backstroke.
Leisel Jones won a gold medal in the women's 100m breaststroke.
Michael Phelps won a gold medal in the men's 200m freestyle. (And later peed on a homeless man.)
Come on, NBC! I'm drowning in the swimming coverage!
[Two drowning jokes in one post? He's clearly running out of material.]

#3:
Jin Jong-oh from the Republic of Korea captured the gold in men's 50m pistol. And in doing so, he joins the other shooting medal winners, both men and women, in achieving greatness in the least athletic sport in the Olympics. Yes, even a 600 pound lump of flesh could fire a gun at a target. What this fatty couldn't do is sit on a horse (or the horse would die), try to sail (or the boat would sink), attempt archery (the giant belly wouldn't allow it), or play handball (because the ball looks yummy). Let's face it, team handball is possibly the easiest sport ever invented, but it does take athleticism.

#4:I didn't find much worth discussing today. I watched some archery, I watched some badminton, I watched the US blow it against the Netherlands in soccer. Pretty boring day as far as I'm concerned. What I did find, however, is this picture of Kerri Walsh's abs. Holy shit.

USA basketball on in less than 6 hours! What am I doing up?!