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Olympics Update *Special Edition*

Hey Spain, two fucking medals?! And one of them is a bronze?! Are you kidding me?! Don't you know racism doesn't win medals? Disrespecting poor people does! Just look at Michael Phelps!

Let's start with some of Pau Gasol's quotes as he tried to defend the Spanish basketball team's racism.

"If anyone feels offended by it, we totally apologize for it."

That's not a fucking apology. I'm tired of these fake apologies where the apology isn't directed at the action taken or the person/people involved, but at those who were so out of line as to be offended.

Here's what an apology looks like.

"We regret the actions we took and recognize that they are completely unacceptable. It was an error in judgment that I assure you will never be repeated. The decision to pose in such a manner was ours and ours alone and we hope the great nation and the great people of Spain are not looked down upon because of us."

"Some of us didn’t feel comfortable doing it...It was never intended to be offensive or racist against anybody."

Bull-motherfucking-shit. First of all, if you didn't feel comfortable with it, grow a pair and refuse to do it. I'm not comfortable with that ignorant shit and you wouldn't have caught me doing it. And if the sponsor insisted I do it, I'd tell him to suck my balls. If he had a problem sucking my balls, I'd tell him I could grab a razor and cut his fucking eyelids to see how funny he saw it then. Who was this sponsor anyway? Does the KKK endorse the Spanish basketball team? Could be, I know they certainly wouldn't endorse the Redeem Team.

As far as the "never intended it to be offensive" nonsense, of course you did. You think it's funny that Asian people's eyes look different than your own. It's aggravating that you think that, but it's just bigotry. I see and hear that shit every day. Be a racist, fine. I know some people you could hang with. But what pisses me off more than anything, is a racist who attempts to cover up blatant racism with illogical bullshit.

Not to mention Pau said this.

"It was supposed to be a picture that inspired the Olympic spirit."

Please.

So fuck Pau Gasol and fuck his fat ass brother while you're at it. Let's move on to Jose Calderon, who just may be the stupidest motherfucker on the planet Earth. (And by the way, Jose, I will not be accenting your name because I do not have that much respect for you.)

"From here I would like to declare that we have a huge respect for the East and their people, some of my best friends in Toronto are from China"

No you don't. If you had any respect for them you wouldn't have done it. And may I say, the "I'm not a racist, some of my best friends are..." routine is a laughable defense. Just plain embarrassing. When is the last time anybody even bought that line? You can have all the Chinese friends you want, but if they don't know how you speak about them, their people, and their culture when their backs are turned, then they're probably not really your friends. Oh, and that also makes you a racist.

Shame also goes out to the IOC, who in an effort to kill whatever controversy arises, said this...

"We understand that the Spanish team intended no offense and has apologized. The matter rests there as far as the I.O.C. is concerned."

Of course it does. Because you have no spine. All you care about is taking away medals from innocent people whose teammates cheated. I think the IOC is taking bribes again from whatever "sponsor" (if one even exists) that requested the Spanish basketball team "slant your eyes like you were stupid Chinamen." (Not actually a quote, but what I imagine had to be the phrase uttered before the picture was taken.)

Now let's hear (or just read) Jason Kidd's quotes as he drops some science.

"We would've been already thrown out of the Olympics...At least, we wouldn't have been able to come back to the U.S."

Kidd also said that there would have been suspensions for US players and that it sets a double standard when (he knew nothing would happen) Spain would not be punished. He's exactly right. Why have we infantilized the Spanish players, suggesting perhaps they didn't know any better? It's a ridiculous argument.

In closing, Spanish national team, I hope your plane crashes on the way back home. And then during the funeral procession, I hope there is a horrible car accident and your mothers all die in a fire. While your children watch. And, yes, I meant that to be offensive. (You see? Not that hard!)

I gave it a shot! Haha!


Oh, and kiss your 2016 Olympics goodbye, Spain. Chicago's got that shit on lock.