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RNC Oddsmakers

Barack Obama wrapped up the DNC last night and with the exception of a few detractors, hilariously mocked by The Daily Show last Tuesday, the convention was an enormous success. With Sarah Palin now in as McCain's running mate, the Republican National Convention is up next.

By the way, let's clear up this Sarah Palin "hot" stuff right now. She's not exactly hot; she's more of a two-face. Let's compare some pictures.

#1: First up, the classic "sexy librarian pose." Very appealing. Very naughty. She's got a little of that Tina Fey thing going on. But to call her Tina Fey hot is heresy. Mmm... Tina Fey...

#2: Second, we have another rehearsed pose. Only this time, she's the secretly irritable, old-lady neighbor type. Not appealing. Not naughty. (These pictures also seem to have been taken years apart. If so, that could both help or hurt my point, so I'll let you decide for yourself.)

Enough with this semi-attractive newbie, let's get down to the title of the post and try to predict the future! Much like you can gamble on the coin toss during the Super Bowl, you can now put down strange bets in Vegas on the RNC. I missed out placing bets for the DNC, mostly because I just thought of the idea today, but if you're the wagering type, I've got the lines for you. Good luck!

At the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota, the chances that...

-John McCain falls down and breaks his hip: 1 in 53
-Bristol Palin, Sarah's full-time hottie of a daughter, is harassed by Mitt Romney: 1 in 40
-Bristol Palin is harassed by Bill O'Reilly: 1 in 4
-Rudy Giuliani uses the N-word in reference to Obama: 1 in 3,500
-A microphone picks up a public official using the N-word in reference to Obama: 1 in 350
-A camera shows a random delegate mouthing the N-word in reference to Obama: 3 in 5
-Dick Cheney's beak nose gets caught on mic as he delivers his speech: 1 in 9
-George Bush makes up another word: 4 in 11
-Obama is compared favorably to a terrorist: 5 in 7
-Obama is directly called a terrorist: 6 in 7
-Obama is "mistakenly" referred to as "Osama": 6.5 in 7
-Sarah Palin is harassed by Bill O'Reilly thinking she is Bristol Palin: 3 in 4
-Schwarzenegger receives applause from the crowd even though they don't know what the fuck he just said: 1 in 1