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Olympics Update III

That faint whimpering you heard at the end of Day 2 was French swimmer Alain Bernard. You're lucky, Pierre, it could have been worse. Michael Phelps could have peed on you like you were some kind of homeless man. (Or maybe the homeless man was French, and having no continual access to water, he asked Phelps to pee on him to regain his natural odor. Perhaps I've grossly misjudged Michael Phelps...)

More than one billion people saw the dominance of LeBron James and I couldn't have been happier. Outside of poor shooting throughout the first half, that is the best I have seen the team look on both offense and defense. I gained a lot of respect for China, but I'm not sure they will get out of group play. Argentina was upset by Lithuania, but neither team was impressive. Good news for the Redeem Team.

China's female gymnasts outperformed the US team, but the way I see it, any added pressure to the Chinese team will benefit the United States. Johnson and Liukin dominated the balance beam, but both failed to score over a 16. Preposterous! I'm no expert in scoring gymnastics, but I know enough to say for sure that Johnson's small step on the dismount is hardly an execution deduction of .925. What else did she do wrong on that routine? I'm none too worried about it though, Liukin got her fall out early, I don't think she'll do anything like that again.

Speaking of scoring, how the fuck do you win in equestrian? They were just riding around!

Apparently they started the Judo, but I have yet to see any. I didn't see the men's individual epee either. Get on the damn ball, NBC. Rowing, water polo, synchronized diving, equestrian, and more swimming? Put something decent on TV! I mean, I can only watch Côte d'Ivoire so long before I start missing Drogba. May and Walsh are on tomorrow. That'll help.