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Blog Lockdown

Good morning, America. I have an announcement to make and unfortunately it is not good news. This is... Oh man, this is tougher than I thought it was going to be. I don't know quite how to say this, so I'm just going to come out with it. I am officially suspending my blog in order to save the economy.

That's right! Don't try and talk me out of it! I poured over this decision for several minutes before finally reaching a conclusion. The skeptics will ask, "How will suspending your blog help save the economy?" Psh, skeptics... Suspending my blog will help the economy just as much as John McCain suspending his campaign will help the economy. (Now what do you have to say, skeptics?)

Shutting it down will not be easy, especially in the face of such juicy stories as...

1) Clay Aiken admitting he is gay. And here I thought he had come out years ago!
2) The US Army stationing an active unit inside the United States. It's not exactly what I'd call martial law, but it's a step in that direction. The conspirator in me believes the military is doing this because they know some shit is about to go down.
3) Lindsay Lohan being a temporary lesbian. If death comes in threes, what do celebrity outings come in?
4) Sarah Palin traveling to the UN Headquarters in New York to meet with the new contestants of Dancing with the Stars.
5) Chris Rock slamming President Clinton on The Late Show with David Letterman while promoting his new HBO special Kill the Messenger.
6) Hold on, did I mix up my stories in #4?
7) Kanye West's new song: Great song or the greatest song?

The fundamentals of our economy are there. Stay strong, America. God bless.

Lazy River '08!

I'm sure John McCain would be proud. LOL. That was a funny opener to your post. I still haven't seen the clip where Bill Clinton said some detrimental things concerning Obama, on The View.

And I definitely have to check out that Kanye song. Thanks.

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