« Home | Happy Rape Day! » | What then? » | Inside the belly of the beast » | Is this a group of undecided voters or an oil pain... » | Suck it, Michelangelo! » | Party at the Gap! » | HollyWON'T! » | Best. Joke. Ever. Revisited. » | We're saved! (Many times revisited) » | Blog Lockdown »

Early voting Baracks!

Early voting? Kinda shady if you ask me. But if my vote does end up counting, then it will be a vote for Senator Barack Obama. Note that it's a vote for Obama and not against McCain. Although I am opposed to nearly all of McCain's policies, voting against something, as Dick Gregory once said, is "ungodly" when we have so much to vote for. So why did I vote for Mr. Obama? Lots of reasons. Here's a partial list, focusing on some of the lesser-known issues.


He favors the expansion of drug courts instead of throwing people into prison. My views on drugs and drug policy are too radical to ever be realized, but this is a really good idea. Focus on violent crimes, not petty drug offenses.

Obama's other civil rights policies. It's nice to see that he even has "Civil Rights" listed as an issue. Obama's bid for the presidency has apparently convinced John McCain that racism is over.

I don't care what his middle name is. How could I? My middle name is Pedophiliasawesome.

He looks good in a bathing suit. A very underrated presidential quality.

Obama's energy policies mean jobs, jobs, and more jobs. The plan is pretty expensive and we won't see results right away, but it's an excellent long-term solution to dozens of problems.

He's black! (But I'm not a racist, some of my best friends are white.)

He's not afraid of spiders. Are you kidding me?! I'd have freaked out!

No Child Left Behind sucks. Please, God, won't somebody change it. You don't teach to a test; that's not education. Education is a glorious, wonderful thing that I truly love and appreciate. Children not only deserve a great education, they deserve to be excited about receiving it. I think Obama's plan is more supportive of both teachers and schools. It's also more of an investment, but it's a damn fine investment.

And last, but certainly not least...

All my friends are voting for him!