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iPhonies

The iPhone - a revolution that fits into your pocket. (Not unlike my copy of the Communist Manifesto.) And yet, Apple's technology is ever-increasing, with a constant stream of new applications that allows users to personalize their iPhone. The company's ultimate hope, I can only assume, is to create a one-to-one experience that makes the consumer so Apple dependent and Apple obsessed that any other computer and/or phone seems obsolete. So what's new this week? In an effort to modernize an outdated party made up of people with outdated ideas, Apple has created the Republican iPhone. Let's take a look at some of the apps!

What to eat!

What to drink!

Sexy photographs!

A world map to remind you of all the places terrorists live!

Remember how you felt when Dale Earnhardt Jr. lost the big race!

A reminder that science is totally lame!

See what your relatives are up to!

Challenging word puzzles!

Complex arithmetic!

A reminder of what you hate to do.

A reminder of what you really hate to do.

A reminder to hate fascism. No, socialism. No, tyranny. No, black people.

How to fix Global Warming!

Your answer to everything!

Relive the good old days!

A reminder of what you pretend to be. Christian!

A reminder of what it sounds like when you complain!

iPhone even remembers what object you used to beat your wife last night!
Cause you probably don't!