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Oh, stop. No, seriously. Please. Stop.

I'd like to talk about Barack Obama's first 100 days in office, but analyzing a president's first 100 days is arbitrary and meaningless. Plus, since Obama's black and all, I'm not sure I could talk about his presidency thus far without racializing the hell out of it. CNN? Would you like to try?

Kyra Phillips: Awwwwwwwww, shiiiiiiiiit! We back, y'all! And we talkin' 'bout Obama's first hun'ed days. Yo, T! What grade you gonna drop on 'em?

T.J. Holmes: An A mu'fuckin' plus! Brotha got swag, Ky.

Kyra: No white boys got swag?

T.J.: Naw, naw, naw. I ain't sayin' all that, Ky. What I'm sayin' is the brotha's not afraid to be hip and cool and hug a couple mu'fuckas, ya know?

Kyra: Brotha's mad hip!

T.J.: Check it. He collects comic books, dances like a drunk grandpa at a wedding, and now the brotha's got a Portuguese Water Dog!

Kyra: Plus, he's the sickest mu'fucka I ever seen in the alley, son!

T.J.: Brotha's just like Shaft!

Kyra: Ey! Can we get some Isaac Hayes in this mu'fucka?!

T.J.: Yo, cause I think he's a good president an' all that shit, but it's like, he's a completely different kind of human being than past presidents, know what I'm sayin'?

Kyra: An' you kinda the same way, T. Cause I've heard people say that cause you black and laid back that you a real brotha.

T.J.: Aw, you know me. I just love huggin' mu'fuckas! Except that Rick Sanchez bastard. Mu'fucka had the nerve to say us doin' this story was ridiculous.

Kyra: Ridiculous? Hell naw, man! Me asking a 12-year-old boy with no arms and no family if he understood that Operation Iraqi Freedom was a mission of liberation and not imperialism was ridiculous! Really, really fuckin' ridiculous!

T.J.: Retarded even! But see, that's what I love about you, Ky! I love the fact that you ain't hung up on jouralistic integrity an' shit.

Kyra: Same to you, T.

T.J.: Yo, you wanna hug this mu'fucka out?

Kyra: Let's awkwardly hug this mu'fucka out! Peace y'all!